A Space for the Spiritual
Those of you who know me only as an artist or an educator may be surprised to learn that I am also a Magico-Spiritual Practitioner. “Magico” meaning I practice magic, and “Spiritual” meaning I deal with and work with spirits. I am not religious in the traditional sense, though I value many of the lessons which can be found in the world’s five major religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, & Buddhism).
My personal history with religion is… complicated. I was raised in a small Evangelical church in the rural woodlands of southeastern Connecticut. Some members of the church followed a literalist’s interpretation of the Bible while other’s simply did their best to live a life like Jesus; but the beliefs they all had in common was that The Rapture was imminent (Y2K), homosexuals were doomed to Hell, and that Harry Potter and Pokémon were of the Devil (who was everywhere). This was the 90s/early 00s, and the ‘Satanic Panic’ era was still very much alive amongst rural Evangelicals. Once the anticipation of the new millennium had passed and Jesus had not returned to gather his flock, their attentions turned towards condemning gay rights and Dan Brown.
During my time in the church, I was beginning to experience things that the church could not adequately explain. After all, it was the Devil who was behind everything “not of God.” From Rock ‘n Roll to Nickelodeon, there was no escaping him. There are no allowances for visions or spiritual visitations within Fundamentalist Evangelicalism; that is for the Catholics, who are heretics.
One such heretical experience has stuck with me all these years later.
I was about nine years old and was very sick with chronic kidney disease. I was born with polycystic kidney disease in my right kidney and an absent left. Frankly, it was astonishing that I had lived that long without dialysis or a transplant (the transplant came a year later at ten years old). What I remember of that time is feeling very sluggish and would sleep as often as I could.
One night, I “awoke” facing myself in my bed. I shared a bunk bed with my younger brother and could see that he was asleep on the top bunk and that my body was on the bottom bunk. Very suddenly, my perception of self shifted towards the corner of my room. From a bird’s eye perspective, I could see my room, then the house, then the town, etc., until I was in Space looking at the Earth.
I was seated by a pond which had a large but withered tree growing by its edge. This tree looked very sickly and was losing all of its leaves. However, by its side grew a young and small sapling with healthy leaves. It was then that I could sense a presence with me, but could not see one. I looked to my left and saw a row of cypress trees, beyond which was a beautiful marble city. No light shone upon it, but rather from it; the buildings emitted a soft and warm glowing light. I also saw a massive bridge with a river as black as obsidian flowing beneath it. The black water was so reflective that it mirrored the stars above it. On the river sailed majestic ivory white ships, which patrolled up and down continuously. The ships were intricately made and had motifs of plants and animals carved into them. I could not see across the bridge to know what was on the other side, though I had a knowing that it was Earth.
As I turned my attention away from the city and back to the pond, I noticed that I could peer into it and view the Earth as if on a movie screen. I was being shown the deaths of many people. I still remember the name of one child, about my age, named Zach. Zach had died in a car accident. He had red-orange hair, sapphire blue eyes, and lots of freckles. As soon as I had witnessed his death, he appeared next to me by the pond. I remember showing him with excitement the screen in the pond, and together we witnessed from afar the deaths of more and more people. One death I remember in particular was the murder of a young woman in an alley in the UK. She too sat by us. Eventually, the pond became more and more populated by the recently deceased. I remember thinking, ‘Oh, am I dead too then?’
It was at that moment that I was sent back into my body at an impossibly fast speed. When I came to it was morning. I had felt disoriented but empowered, like I had been given a juicy secret which I could not wait to share.